Congratulations Avivah, on your new home and puppy. So excited for you and your family. This timely issue deeply resonated with me. We just hosted our best friends from the UK for 3 weeks in our new US home in Snohomish, WA and they fell so much in love with it they committed to returning annually (yippee). It also had something to do with the fact we were adopted by a stray puppy, now named Brandy, during their stay. As non dog owners they are now smitten dog god-parents. It was wonderful to have 3 weeks, without interruption or distraction by email, devoted to celebrating our 35 year friendship, creating memories exploring new awe inspiring places together, and connecting them with our US friends over s’mores, bbq’s and wine.
There you go, puppies, friends and a place to bring them all together! what a great idea to celebrate friendship with weeks of uninterrupted focus. Sounds like exactly what we need right now. To love and appreciate those we treasure, and to make it mindful, explicit and time-rich. The more I age, the more I get the Buddhist - there is no past or future, just the present, a gift thing...
I adore the idea that we can configure our later lives and dwelling places as suits us now and in the future - and that we can evolve and revise as we go.
Our center point is now our lovely atico in Oviedo - with enough space for any of our "kid families" (our three children and their spouses, each with 2 or 3 kids of their own) to visit. And we've agreed to find a place every summer for all of us to spend a bit of time together (8 adults and 7 kids, now ranging in age from newborn to almost 15).
I have no doubt it will kep changing. But that's fun...
I had to look up Oviedo, which looks wonderful Erika! And bravo for the official, ritual commitment to annual, ritual gathering. There is so much richness in the intergenerational gift of families - I hugely envy them. sounds like you have a tribe, and investing in its continuity and familiarity seems like a lot more than fun. It's rich and rewarding in multiple ways at different life stages. Enjoy!
How exciting—congratulations on your next chapter!
Thank you also for the book recommendation (Right Place, Right Time); I’ve added it to my list.
Growing up, my family spent summer weekends at our lake cabin, which was about 2 1/2 hours drive from the city, alternating weekends between us and my cousins’ families. Sometimes the whole clan would gather for Thanksgiving weekend or a summer reunion.
We visited the cabin in 2021 after my mom died for what I presumed would be the last time. It was a special place for me in my childhood. ❤️
Oh! Is the cabin really gone? From the whole family? My mother rented a cottage about the same distance from Toronto when we were kids. I mostly remember how much she loved it there. Gathering her tiny family was incredibly important to her, something i pushed against in early adulthood. But the urge returns in later life - as you begin to understand your parents' perspectives and motivations.
The cabin is still in our family and ownership transitioned to my cousins. But I live out of state and don’t go back often. Technically, I know I could visit the cabin again, I just don’t imagine getting out there anymore.
I’ve thought about purchasing a vacation/gathering home closer to where we live now, but honestly, I really enjoy traveling to a variety of places and don’t have the resources for both options. I also find it time consuming to care for our primary residence and don’t want the burden of caring for a second.
But we are also freshly empty-nested, so summer plans will probably be without a big gathering in the near future. Maybe in 10-15 years we’ll revisit the idea of a vacation home.
Glad to hear it’s in the family. You never know what the future holds. Yes, i think key gathering time is a decade after empty nest. A decade to redo self and couple, then a time to welcome them back in adult (sometime parent) form.
I loved this, Avivah. So much wisdom and beauty here. I feel the longing to gather, to create space for love and rest, so deeply. Upsizing as an act of heart, not just logistics, makes perfect sense to me.✨
Love your post! At some point I will have to translate for you the part of the chapter of the book you kindly “foreworded” for me, with several family learnings about this topic! I love the idea to built memories in this “project”, and, also, that you are young to asume a “project”, of course you are! I wish you luck and success! 💯💯✔️
Congratulations on this beautiful new chapter, Avivah! It’s incredibly generous, and deeply meaningful, when grandparents create a gathering place for the next generations. In my own family, we have just one shared house on one side, and it has had such a powerful impact: cousins forming real bonds, memories being made year after year. It truly is a gift.
Thank you so much for the kind mention.
Wishing you a wonderful summer with that adorable little pup, Tigger!
Congratulations Avivah, on your new home and puppy. So excited for you and your family. This timely issue deeply resonated with me. We just hosted our best friends from the UK for 3 weeks in our new US home in Snohomish, WA and they fell so much in love with it they committed to returning annually (yippee). It also had something to do with the fact we were adopted by a stray puppy, now named Brandy, during their stay. As non dog owners they are now smitten dog god-parents. It was wonderful to have 3 weeks, without interruption or distraction by email, devoted to celebrating our 35 year friendship, creating memories exploring new awe inspiring places together, and connecting them with our US friends over s’mores, bbq’s and wine.
There you go, puppies, friends and a place to bring them all together! what a great idea to celebrate friendship with weeks of uninterrupted focus. Sounds like exactly what we need right now. To love and appreciate those we treasure, and to make it mindful, explicit and time-rich. The more I age, the more I get the Buddhist - there is no past or future, just the present, a gift thing...
I adore the idea that we can configure our later lives and dwelling places as suits us now and in the future - and that we can evolve and revise as we go.
Our center point is now our lovely atico in Oviedo - with enough space for any of our "kid families" (our three children and their spouses, each with 2 or 3 kids of their own) to visit. And we've agreed to find a place every summer for all of us to spend a bit of time together (8 adults and 7 kids, now ranging in age from newborn to almost 15).
I have no doubt it will kep changing. But that's fun...
I had to look up Oviedo, which looks wonderful Erika! And bravo for the official, ritual commitment to annual, ritual gathering. There is so much richness in the intergenerational gift of families - I hugely envy them. sounds like you have a tribe, and investing in its continuity and familiarity seems like a lot more than fun. It's rich and rewarding in multiple ways at different life stages. Enjoy!
Yes! We are a tribe...and that's so ancient and satisfying a thing: I feel grateful for it every day. :-)
Wonderful!
How exciting—congratulations on your next chapter!
Thank you also for the book recommendation (Right Place, Right Time); I’ve added it to my list.
Growing up, my family spent summer weekends at our lake cabin, which was about 2 1/2 hours drive from the city, alternating weekends between us and my cousins’ families. Sometimes the whole clan would gather for Thanksgiving weekend or a summer reunion.
We visited the cabin in 2021 after my mom died for what I presumed would be the last time. It was a special place for me in my childhood. ❤️
Oh! Is the cabin really gone? From the whole family? My mother rented a cottage about the same distance from Toronto when we were kids. I mostly remember how much she loved it there. Gathering her tiny family was incredibly important to her, something i pushed against in early adulthood. But the urge returns in later life - as you begin to understand your parents' perspectives and motivations.
Where do you summer/ family ritual now?
The cabin is still in our family and ownership transitioned to my cousins. But I live out of state and don’t go back often. Technically, I know I could visit the cabin again, I just don’t imagine getting out there anymore.
I’ve thought about purchasing a vacation/gathering home closer to where we live now, but honestly, I really enjoy traveling to a variety of places and don’t have the resources for both options. I also find it time consuming to care for our primary residence and don’t want the burden of caring for a second.
But we are also freshly empty-nested, so summer plans will probably be without a big gathering in the near future. Maybe in 10-15 years we’ll revisit the idea of a vacation home.
Glad to hear it’s in the family. You never know what the future holds. Yes, i think key gathering time is a decade after empty nest. A decade to redo self and couple, then a time to welcome them back in adult (sometime parent) form.
I loved this, Avivah. So much wisdom and beauty here. I feel the longing to gather, to create space for love and rest, so deeply. Upsizing as an act of heart, not just logistics, makes perfect sense to me.✨
I'll keep you posted on how it goes!
I have a tendency to dream, push and then pause and see if it works, with a big dollop of scepticism thrown in to shelter me from disappointment.
Geez... I so relate to all of that!!
I wish you a glorious summer, Avivah. My favorite time of the year!
Happy travels! What’s your summer ritual Melinda?
The beach! Water refreshes and reenergizes my soul! Also, even more important, making sure Rocky is happy!🤣
Love your post! At some point I will have to translate for you the part of the chapter of the book you kindly “foreworded” for me, with several family learnings about this topic! I love the idea to built memories in this “project”, and, also, that you are young to asume a “project”, of course you are! I wish you luck and success! 💯💯✔️
Please do!
What refreshing ideas! Also, thanks for the shout-out!
Love your substack Don!
Congratulations on this beautiful new chapter, Avivah! It’s incredibly generous, and deeply meaningful, when grandparents create a gathering place for the next generations. In my own family, we have just one shared house on one side, and it has had such a powerful impact: cousins forming real bonds, memories being made year after year. It truly is a gift.
Thank you so much for the kind mention.
Wishing you a wonderful summer with that adorable little pup, Tigger!
thanks Pamela. And yes, I learned it all from the French. Those ‘family homes’ work magic.