One metaphor I’ve come to love about the Elder path is this:
Life is a layered cake.
Not a sheet cake. Not a cupcake you inhale at a child’s birthday party. A layered cake.
Each decade is another layer. At twenty, you’re mostly batter — energetic, unformed, slightly chaotic. At forty, you’ve added structure. At sixty, flavor deepens. At seventy and beyond, something unexpected happens.
The cake gets richer.
Not heavier — richer.
The sweetness is more complex. The texture more interesting. There’s depth you simply cannot manufacture early. You can’t rush layers. You can’t microwave wisdom. You can’t Amazon Prime maturity.
And here’s the part culture gets wrong: it treats aging like the cake is drying out.
Yum! Totally love this metaphor, and think layering is a image, with a sprinkling of booze to get a bit of a kick once in a while. Perhaps a fruit cake for some.
"You can't Amazon Prime maturity", will quote you on that Marc.
Wow, Avivah - I think this is the best piece of yours ever. You are definitely demonstrating what you’re talking about here: integrating your various selves and expertises and experiences as you write about doing just that!
I’m finding the same thing: right now I’m in the process of reviewing the Spanish translation of my latest book, The New Old, and therefore seeing it with new eyes. And I realize how much of it is an integration/re-application of skills and principles I’ve been thinking and writing about for 35 years to the creation of a great second half of life.
I completely agree that perhaps our most important effort in later life is be open-hearted and open-minded, curious and fearless in integrating all that we are - and all that we could become - into these fascinating older selves.
Who are you becoming next? At 88 years old I am becoming more and more secure in myself to integrate all I have learned from the multiple selves I have already lived. Increasingly I love to share this integration in conversations with friends and family members. At one time, not too long ago, I contemplated writing memoirs, or an autobiography. I reviewed my life and it fell easily into different selves as chapters along the way. At times when a particular self was in the ascendant in my life it overshadowed other selves. From my current old age vantage point I can see each of those selves interacting with the others and over time, building that integration you write so powerfully about. Thank you for these insights.
One metaphor I’ve come to love about the Elder path is this:
Life is a layered cake.
Not a sheet cake. Not a cupcake you inhale at a child’s birthday party. A layered cake.
Each decade is another layer. At twenty, you’re mostly batter — energetic, unformed, slightly chaotic. At forty, you’ve added structure. At sixty, flavor deepens. At seventy and beyond, something unexpected happens.
The cake gets richer.
Not heavier — richer.
The sweetness is more complex. The texture more interesting. There’s depth you simply cannot manufacture early. You can’t rush layers. You can’t microwave wisdom. You can’t Amazon Prime maturity.
And here’s the part culture gets wrong: it treats aging like the cake is drying out.
It’s not drying out.
It’s curing.
The flavors are integrating.
Growing old and wise — truly wise — is a “yum.”
Yum! Totally love this metaphor, and think layering is a image, with a sprinkling of booze to get a bit of a kick once in a while. Perhaps a fruit cake for some.
"You can't Amazon Prime maturity", will quote you on that Marc.
Wow, Avivah - I think this is the best piece of yours ever. You are definitely demonstrating what you’re talking about here: integrating your various selves and expertises and experiences as you write about doing just that!
I’m finding the same thing: right now I’m in the process of reviewing the Spanish translation of my latest book, The New Old, and therefore seeing it with new eyes. And I realize how much of it is an integration/re-application of skills and principles I’ve been thinking and writing about for 35 years to the creation of a great second half of life.
I completely agree that perhaps our most important effort in later life is be open-hearted and open-minded, curious and fearless in integrating all that we are - and all that we could become - into these fascinating older selves.
Please keep exploring and writing!
thank you Erika, I will. It's the only way I have found of catching hold of the time that is flying, and trying to make sense of it all.
Who are you becoming next? At 88 years old I am becoming more and more secure in myself to integrate all I have learned from the multiple selves I have already lived. Increasingly I love to share this integration in conversations with friends and family members. At one time, not too long ago, I contemplated writing memoirs, or an autobiography. I reviewed my life and it fell easily into different selves as chapters along the way. At times when a particular self was in the ascendant in my life it overshadowed other selves. From my current old age vantage point I can see each of those selves interacting with the others and over time, building that integration you write so powerfully about. Thank you for these insights.
Write a guest post Sylvia, about your many selves, seen from 88? Would love to hear more.
Thank you for this invitation, Avivah! I would be happy to do so.
Great, whenever you like Sylvia.
Sylvia, I want to hear too!
Thank you, Debbie.